What can say about her … she was a living legend and she continues to be loved and adored by all that knew her. She was one of a kind.
So rather than telling you about her let me tell you about our relationship.
It was complicated. On one hand I always knew she loved us an would do anything for us. If there is one phrase that would define her for me it was … “It is yours if you want it”. This was her answer anytime you asked if you could have something that she was in charge of … food, drinks, cookies, anything in her house and sometimes things that weren’t hers, like dad’s things. He didn’t really need all those tools out there in his shed … he never uses them.
When I was older and lived with them for a while … that phrase also include my things … if someone was visiting (a grandchild or other relative) and they wanted or needed something that happened to be mine … her answer was the same. Most times I didn’t mind, as I was living under her roof, but sometimes …. hmmmm … it was a bit much.
Anyway … it never caused real trouble but it was a challenge at times.
In an earlier day she was the one that made sure I had everything I needed for school and sports. That I had the right clothes and shoes and had a way to and from practice. I kept her busy between football, basketball, track, student council and safety council and the Latin club. I was busy so she was busy. Now if she were a stay at home mom these things would have been piece of cake but she worked retail so she worked 5-6 days and week and generally didn’t get home till after 9PM. And she fixed me and Mike breakfast every school morning, packed dad’s lunch and made sure we all had something to eat every evening while she was at work. And on her days off … she cooked and cleaned and did laundry and tried to make our little trailer into a home. Something she succeeded at wonderfully.
She loved us with the kind of love that left no room for doubt … something I discovered as an adult … was sadly missing from a lot of childhoods. Her love and dedication to us and our family and her extended family of four sisters and a brother and uncounted nieces and nephews and cousins was boundless.
When I moved away from Charleston at 18 she let me know she expected me to come home and call on a regular basis. I expect that in the ensuing 40+ yrs I made my way down I-26 to Charleston hundreds of times. If I didn’t make it on a regular basis she would remind me that I hadn’t visited in a while … never really ugly about it but a gentle and direct reminder. “You know you haven’t been home in a while. We would sure love to see you and the kids”. And don’t let me forget to visit everyone in Bamberg regularly as well.
Visiting family was everything to her.
There were also the phone calls. In the early years when money was tight and long distance calls weren’t cheap she would insist that I “reverse the charges”. I usually called her once a week. When cell phones became common place and money wasn’t quite the issue I stared calling twice a week. There was an author for the Atlanta newspaper named Lewis Grizzard … he was a humorist and I loved his column. He published compilations of many of his weekly columns into books. One was titled “Call your mama … I wish that I could call mine”. That title is what prompted me to call her twice a week for almost 30 years.
The conversations were almost always the same.
Hello mom
How are you I am fine. How are you.
How are the kids
Good, how is everyone in Charleston
Good How is dad Good … but you know he did XYZ to annoy me this week.
Yeah he is good at that.
(HER) – when you coming down.
(ME) – we will be down soon. Love you Love you
(ME) Bye …
(HER) Bye …. (long pause) … and I better not hang up before I heard her hand up or she would give me the devil next time.
Simple and direct conversations that didn’t really say anything but conveyed everything.
She has been gone from this earth for over 11 years now … God called her home so she could visit with her savior and her family … what a glorious reunion it must have been!
I would not want her to return … even if I could as it of our Father … but I would give almost anything to be able to make one more phone call to her …
Hello mom … how is Jesus ?
So true Bud. There’s no one like her. I miss her, but I thank the Lord and have comfort in knowing I will see her, Daddy, and so many others, again. She taught me well to be a loving, and supportive Momma. And not an interfering NaNa. She was truly my BFF. Love y’all ☺️